see you again

you said i'm a sweet girl
i know what  you wanted to say
and i am a quiet girl
so i like to smile at you
but i didn't say anything

see you  i want to see you again
do you feel me  do you feel what i feel too
oh oh
what did you want to say to me
said said loudly
i want to hear   my dear baby

you said you will come back
but i want to cry in front of you
and i can't say i love you now
so i feel sorry to you
but i didn't say anything

see you   i want to see you again
do you feel me do you feel what i feel too
oh oh
what did you want to say to me
said said loudly
i want to hear  my dear boy

the truth is very stranger
i hope you have a great future
i hope you know that i want to see you again
i will remember you because i know how important you are for me

Come back  quickly ！

第一句中sweety是个名词，只能是sweet girl，“but i didn't say everthing”，应该是everything吧，改为but i didn't say anything在语法上会不会更恰当一些，最后一段中nice to meet you这是一句见面时的问候语,在这里应该是表达很高兴曾经见过你，与后面“你对我来说多么的重要”才能在时间上很好的连接，所以我建议换一句来表达或者直接不要这一句，最后一句有点中国式英语的表达，应该是 i know how  important you are for me ,整段词情节单一，语法表述有些小问题，加油！我为写英文歌词的人加油，支持！不过就是要多注重语法，英文也有非常多的魅力，多了解学习！
我是看到那说到那，不对和不妥之处请多包涵！也欢迎指正！

第三句中i also a quiet girl？想想有没有不妥，“see you   i want to see you again”，建议加一个词：see you again   i want to see you again，因为单独的see you 是再见的意思，个见，请谨慎采纳！

Hulagirl 发表于 2015-8-12 04:29
第三句中i also a quiet girl？想想有没有不妥，“see you   i want to see you again”，建议加一个词：se ...

谢谢你的指导，

不错，学习。但要注意语法现象。
把i know what did you want to say此句改为i know what you wanted to say.


把此句i will remember you because i know you are how important for me。
改为i will remember you because i know  how important  you are for me。

英文歌词不是真正在国外的语境生活很久而且有当地的生活阅历一般人儿可不敢尝试呵呵，还是顶你~~~~感觉不太像英文歌词，别介意哈，我其实相当喜欢英文歌~~~~

小希 发表于 2015-8-12 08:58
谢谢你的指导，

其实你们大家都不知道，英文歌其实不太讲究语法，外国人写英文歌不会这样想的，嘻嘻

不管是英文歌还是中文歌还是什么歌，都要注重语境和情感